like a plane crash that never hits the ground

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I have no idea what I'm doing. Ever.

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Woke up older.

I just needed to write this down somewhere.

It’s amazing where 3 years of your life can take you.

Today I woke up feeling better than I have in a really long time. Last night I went to the bars with three of my favorite people in the entire world, and it was such a good night. I didn’t fuck up and do anything stupid, I acted like an adult and just had a really good time. When Nate said “Haley, I don’t talk to any other girls like I talk to you. You are the only girl in this circle,” and Adam and Derek agreed it felt so good. Derek even went so far as to call me one of his best friends, which is saying a lot for him. For so long I felt like everyone thought that our friendship was just me trying to hang out with guys that I thought were cool and that they didn’t actually care if I was around or not, and I finally feel justified. I realized how much Matt has been bringing me down lately, and I need to fix that. I care about him so much, but I need to figure out what is best for me. I need to stop wishfully thinking that I can help change him and make him someone that he has the potential to be, because only he can do that.

The whole point of this post was to say that, today I woke up and looked in the mirror and smiled. I really am an amazing person, and I just want my self-confidence to reflect that. Somehow in the past three days I’ve found an apartment for the summer that is super cheap, and a job doing things related to what I want to do with my life. Things are really looking up.

I’m now sitting in the library with Derek on our usual Sunday morning library dates and I’m going to get all of the homework done that I have, and start studying for my physics exam on Thursday because I need to do well on it and I know that I can.

Positive thinking positive thinking positive thinking I am welcoming you.

1 note
  1. iheallike-wolverine posted this
positive thinking personal